"It has the answers you need
to become partners again
with your mate. These
experts deconstruct the
problem of women becoming
mothers before lovers to their
partners and they create a
step-by-step path for couples
to follow to get back to being
equal partners again."
In How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother?The Answer to Becoming Partners Again, Sara Dimerman and J. M. Kearns lay bare an essential problem: the woman who finds she's turned into a mother to
her man, instead of the equal and intimate partner she once was.
She has a day-job just like he does, yet at home she finds herself doing most of the housework, running the home and
being in charge of the child-rearing, which makes her his boss in the one place where they spend most of their time
together. This leaves her feeling angry and resentful -- hardly fertile ground for being lovers.
Dimerman and Kearns boldly confront the issues, allowing both sexes to vent in a no-holds-barred exchange that
ranges from hostile to hilarious. They deconstruct the problem using real-life examples and lay out a step-by-step
path that will enable any couple to get back to being equal partners again.
Do you feel like your partner has become your
Do you find yourself being his maid, his cook,
Have romance, respect, fun -- and sex -- been
drained out of your relationship?
The new book on marriage by Sara Dimerman and J.M. Kearns...
ASK YOURSELF... How many of these "hats" do
you wear around the house?
(see Chapter One!)
1. Cook (and meal planning, food prep and food
2. Cleaning lady (Don't forget laundry,
vacuuming, deep cleaning, straightening out, and
3. Manager (Who runs the house, who is the
Responsible One, who does the buck stop with, who's
4. Child-rearer (and childcare supervisor)
5. Appearance & Etiquette Coach
(Are you his finishing school?)
Sara Dimerman, C.Psych.Assoc.,
has been an individual, couple
and family therapist for over
twenty years. A nationally
recognized relationship and
parenting expert, she is the
author of two other books. Sara
lives in Toronto, Canada, is
married and has two daughters.
"How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your
Mother? tracks how the 'mother syndrome' is laying waste to
marriages…The authors call on both genders to defy obsolete
societal values, urging men to step up and women to step off."
-- Zosia Bielski in the Toronto Globe & Mail
"As a wife who's had those feelings, the question of how shared responsibility impacts on
long-term romance definitely hit home for me. During the periods of time that I've felt my
husband wasn't engaged in our household responsibilities, I've been surprised at how
deeply it has touched our relationship. Reading through How Can I Be Your Lover... I think I
was most surprised at how universal the experience may be -- and how it impacts on both
partners. As one of the chapter titles asserts, guilt is not a turn-on, either."
-- Jennifer Gruden, More.ca
Read the brilliant, button-pushing piece by
Zosia Bielski in Canada's Globe and Mail.
Julia McKinnell in Maclean's gives the book a
full-page feature: "If you supervise your
husband like one of your kids, you’ve got
Globe & Mail Aug 9. 2012
Read the profile of
J.M. Kearns in the
Toronto Star, where
Georgie Binks tells the
story of J.M. and how
he connected with
Sara and the book.
Maclean's Aug 16, 2012
The Star, Aug 21. 2012
J.M. Kearns, PhD, is the
author of the best-selling Why
Mr. Right Can't Find You and
two other relationship books,
featured in Oprah & Friends,
Maclean's, and Glamour. He
lives in Cape May, New Jersey
with his spouse Debra. Visitwww.jmkearns.com.