"It has the answers you need to become partners again with your mate. These experts deconstruct the problem of women becoming mothers before lovers to their partners and they create a step-by-step path for couples to follow to get back to being equal partners again."
-- SavvyMom.ca
In How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother? The Answer to Becoming Partners Again,
Sara Dimerman and J. M. Kearns lay bare an essential problem: the woman who finds she's turned into a mother to her man, instead of the equal and intimate partner she once was.

She has a day-job just like he does, yet at home she finds herself doing most of the housework, running the home and being in charge of the child-rearing, which makes her his boss in the one place where they spend most of their time together. This leaves her feeling angry and resentful -- hardly fertile ground for being lovers.

Dimerman and Kearns boldly confront the issues, allowing both sexes to vent in a no-holds-barred exchange that ranges from hostile to hilarious. They deconstruct the problem using real-life examples and lay out a step-by-step path that will enable any couple to get back to being equal partners again.
Do you feel like your partner has become your child?

Do you find yourself being his maid, his cook, his manager?

Have romance, respect, fun -- and sex -- been drained out of your relationship?
The new book on marriage by Sara Dimerman and J.M. Kearns...
How many of these "hats" do you wear around the house?

(see Chapter One!)
1. Cook (and meal planning, food prep and food shopping)

2. Cleaning lady (Don't forget laundry, vacuuming, deep cleaning, straightening out, and much more...)

3. Manager (Who runs the house, who is the Responsible One, who does the buck stop with, who's the boss?)

4. Child-rearer (and childcare supervisor)

5. Appearance & Etiquette Coach
(Are you his finishing school?)
Sara Dimerman, C.Psych.Assoc., has been an individual, couple and family therapist for over twenty years. A nationally recognized relationship and parenting expert, she is the author of two other books. Sara lives in Toronto, Canada, is married and has two daughters. Visit www.helpmesara.com.

Watch the authors live on the Global "Morning Show".

Same-sex couples
have told the authors they have the lover-mother problem too. Read a fascinating perspective.

Listen to a podcast in which Sara and J.M. have a live conversation about the problem their book tackles and the solutions couples will find in it.

YummyMummy Club's interview with authors Sara Dimerman and J.M. Kearns!

therapist Sara Dimerman's Lifestyle Blog on Indigo, where she explains where the book came from, how she partnered with J.M. Kearns, and what she thinks the book can do for troubled marriages.

Visit the
publisher's website for special offers and features: Simon & Schuster.com
Buy the book
Buzz on the Book...
return to JMKearns.com

return to HelpMeSara.com
"How Can I Be Your Lover When I'm Too Busy Being Your Mother? tracks how the 'mother syndrome' is laying waste to marriages…The authors call on both genders to defy obsolete societal values, urging men to step up and women to step off."
-- Zosia Bielski in the Toronto
Globe & Mail
"As a wife who's had those feelings, the question of how shared responsibility impacts on long-term romance definitely hit home for me. During the periods of time that I've felt my husband wasn't engaged in our household responsibilities, I've been surprised at how deeply it has touched our relationship. Reading through How Can I Be Your Lover... I think I was most surprised at how universal the experience may be -- and how it impacts on both partners. As one of the chapter titles asserts, guilt is not a turn-on, either."
-- Jennifer Gruden, More.ca
Read the brilliant, button-pushing piece by Zosia Bielski in Canada's Globe and Mail.
Julia McKinnell in Maclean's gives the book a full-page feature: "If you supervise your husband like one of your kids, you’ve got problems."
Globe & Mail Aug 9. 2012
Read the profile of J.M. Kearns in the Toronto Star, where
Georgie Binks tells the story of J.M. and how he connected with Sara and the book.
Maclean's Aug 16, 2012
The Star, Aug 21. 2012
J.M. Kearns, PhD, is the author of the best-selling Why Mr. Right Can't Find You and two other relationship books, featured in Oprah & Friends, Maclean's, and Glamour. He lives in Cape May, New Jersey with his spouse Debra. Visit www.jmkearns.com .
Follow sara on twitter or subscribe to her page on facebook !
Read more about the book and reactions of readers and the press.
More on the book
JM Kearns.com
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